You needa learn your stuff brah. when you question it. -- Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:18 am --. Unlessyourebisexual,youwontfeel any sexualorromanticattractiontotheoppositesexifyouretrulyhomosexual. , What is it called when you doubt everything? such as with HOCD ya know ya not gay or bi and with proof. 34D, 34B and 34C cup- Whats the difference? This turns into unwanted thoughts and fears that youre losing your sexual identity or in denial of your attractions, as well as relationship issues and difficulty performing sexually. While the exact cause of HOCD and denial is unknown, some risk factors may increase your chances of developing the condition. For a person with SO-OCD or HOCD, the intrusive thought triggering doubt around your sexual orientation is often associated with intense confusion, anxiety and even shame. r/HOCD. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. Denial is often treated with cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps patients to change their thinking patterns and behaviors. It took another five minutes for me to figure out what HOCD was and why so many people had gay obsessions. Thoughts and actions are separate things. On the other hand, boys had no feelings for girls and were crazy for other boys until they had that one thought of being gay. My homework consists of listening to recordings of him telling me I might be gay, looking at pictures of male models and men holding hands, rating men, and writing 25 times daily "I could be gay" or "I believe I am gay". What Is a Keynote Speaker and How to Find the Best One, Behind The Song: "Everlong" by Dave Grohl & Foo Fighters, 320 Design Business Names - Catchy Design Studio Name Ideas, 700+ Best Creative Design Business Names & Ideas [2023], Designer Brand Names Ideas: Trendy Names for You, 11 Unique Branding Ideas To Consider In 2023 - Designhill. Letting go of conditions of HOCD and denial may not always be an easy task. The problem with HOCD is that you cannot stop questioning it. I went to a therapist once, didn't help. And M.Ed.? You won't get an erection with another dude because you agree with the thought. So please, for your own good, don't do like I did. Meeting with a psychologist can be a resourceful option to work through some of these difficult thought processes. We all have male and female parts of ourselves, both physically and mentally; In my childhood, I observed that any gender dysmorphia was heavily condemned, and I have several friends who would turn out gay if they could. Do you have unwanted thoughts about your sexuality? You know, basically hocd has nothing to do with sexual orientation. I think about this literally all the time, and it's very negatively impacting every area of my life. But the difference between you and me is that you would be selectively attended to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. They help you identify your HOCD or denial. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). Ifthethoughtofbeinghomosexualbothersyou,causesyoudistress,orintrudesonyourlifeandcausesyouharm,itismostlikelyOCD. Here are some tips: There are a lot of similarities between HOCD and denial, which can make it difficult to tell the two apart. HOCD can feel very real if you let the obsession take over. According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. is a common obsession in OCD, especially "Pure O". Homosexuality is the term used to describe sexual interest in and attraction to members of ones own sex; male homosexuals referred to as gay while females going by the term lesbians. So, in the context of HOCD, someone in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that they could be gay. When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? This is the denial. Accept that sexuality is natural and that gay feelings are normal and not a bad thing. I started as a therapist over 14 years ago, working in different mental health environments. Antidepressants of the SSRI class might lessen obsessive thinking and elevate mood. Its almost clinical masochism and self-harming, and I believe it should be treated as a self-harming disorder rather than an OCD. They would deny any evidence to the contrary, no matter how strong it may be. By using ERP in our sessions, you can look forward to better days ahead. This is just a phase theyre going through.. It was really sweet of you to even read my post. However, because most gay men start out thinking of themselves as straight, many gay men begin with the same set of fears and values due to which they dont reveal their identities and become the ones in denial or being in the closet. However, this becomes an issue only after youve accepted yourself. * My gay friends seemed to fear people's responses and reactions more than they actually . Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. Unwanted thoughts also occur in this state. Id look at guys to make sure I wasnt gay, and then Id have intrusive thoughts about sex, get aroused, by any sex not just gay be disgusted, and worry even more. I've been struggling with this issue for about a few months now. I have an M.A. How can you use these skills to bridge through the less positive days. The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. The medication also works as it blocks the obsessive thoughts. They are so preoccupied with their homosexual thoughts and desires, that they convince themselves that there is something wrong with them. These resources can provide you with immediate help. Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. 6. Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. Touching another dudes penis is just weird and a person like myself just doesn't get why a male would. It sounds like being Christian is important to you. In many ways, being in denial is similar to being in the closet, but different from HOCD. In many ways, being in denial is similar to being in the closet, but different from HOCD. OCD isn't curable but with treatment it is managable. 01 Sexual Orientation OCD (previously called Homosexual OCD or HOCD) is a subset in which sufferers constantly question their sexuality. Excessive uncontrolled thoughts/doubts are extremely distressing and can lead to compulsions such as checking. Who is in your support network to help to work towards your goals? they cant. Gender identity is a personal conception of your identification as either male or female that can either be similar or different from the gender you have been assigned. My specialist has told me he has gotten all types of guys with this. HOCD is a form of OCD. Hiding and revealing behaviors are psychologically complex. This is because HOCD is thought to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and medication can help to correct this imbalance. I really see the difference here, you have never FEARED the attraction, you loved the attraction, despite not being able to admit it to others. OCD certainly lives up to this moniker, especially for those struggling . Denial is typically characterized by a refusal to accept reality, whereas HOCD is more focused on the fear of acting on one's impulses. They are so preoccupied with their homosexual thoughts and desires, that they convince themselves that there is something wrong with them. In CBT, you will collaborate with a therapist to pinpoint the unhelpful ideas and convictions that fuel your HOCD and challenge them, as well as to create coping mechanisms to deal with the intrusive thoughts and lessen anxiety. Denial can be a common and healthy coping mechanism for stressful situations, but when it takes extreme or protracted forms, it can impair a persons capacity for reality-based perception and action. Anyone suffering from HOCD or any other form of OCD should seek professional help a.s.a.p. and for some, this fear can become compulsive. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought . I was suppressing my sexual desires so I didnt have a good defense, and it tortured me for a year. This is the denial. If you are afraid of the HOCD thoughts, that is fair. Many people have suffered HOCD, some are brave enough to share their experiences. I eventually got over it, but Im still not gay and despise homosexual sex. Gaming. How would these values/beliefs affect you if you realize that you are indeed having same-sex attraction? This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also . Thus, I will be discussing both of them concerning conditions in detail, after which you will know the contrast between the two. All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. (Video) Am I gay or in denial? The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. This treatment involves exercises agreeing with the thoughts of being gay, doing homework involving gay subjects and looking at gay images. HOCD or Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a kind of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder characterised by the fear of being homosexual or constant obsessions about your sexuality/ sexual preferences. Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. Someone in denial may be obsessively thinking about a traumatic event they experienced, even if they dont want to think about it or dont want to admit it happened. Example: an EX Marine and Black Belt married with wife and kids. ROCD - Questioning faith or the existance or non-existance of a deity. Keara E. Valentine, Psy.D., is a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University School of Medicine in the OCD and Related Disorders Track, where she specializes in the assessment and treatment of OCD and related disorders. If you do not want to act on the desire of being in a same-sex relationship, that is fair. You noted that you dont want to be in a same-sex relationship because you are Christian. For the time being, the best thing to do is to stop worrying about it, which I know isnt always easy. Avoiding people of your same gender due to anxiety or unwanted fears that you might be gay. As mentioned, thoughts and actions are separate things. And if you discover you have feelings for women, thats fantastic as well. However, there are some key differences between the two conditions. User account menu. I still have LOTS of feelings for boys. You can have gay relationships if that is what you want. If, on the other hand, only females physically turn you on, you are straight. Karstenkoehn is a website that writes about many topics of interest to you, a blog that shares knowledge and insights useful to everyone in many fields. If you think you may have HOCD or denial, it is important to remember that you are not alone. My experience as a crisis clinician allowed me to treat adolescents and children, while spending additional time updating and educating their parents. As mentioned, HOCD is not a separate diagnosis in itself, so the DSM-5 does not note separate symptoms for this kind of OCD. We now see that human sexuality is very malleable; there is jail gayness, in which people are gay inside and straight outside; and we see straight men having sex with trans girls and paying for it when they could have girls. Attend to the intrusive thoughts; accept them and allow them in, then allow them to move on. Difference between DNA Transcription and DNA replication, self-doubt of an individual regarding their sexual preference and identify, avoiding contact with people that have previously identified themselves as gay/lesbians/bisexual, unwanted sexual thoughts about people of the same sex, excessive fear of being identified as homosexual, Fully aware of the condition but denying about it, Trying to minimise the effects of the situation instead of accepting it, Blaming others/ external elements for the situation, Refusing to talk about your homosexuality, Ignoring the concerns and advice of family and loved ones, When confronted about your orientation, denying outright about lt, Projecting it as a problem and blaming others for it, www.choosingtherapy.com/hocd/#causes-triggers-of-sexual-orientation-ocd, www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html, www.apcbham.org/2019/10/01/denial-why-it-happens-and-how-to-overcome-it/, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/internalized-homophobia. 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