But her nightmare was just beginning. My sister and I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like our secret was now in good hands. A week later, she got a reply. After her parents decided to move Erin's abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived . Alaska's version of Erin's Law is currently under consideration by the Alaska State Legislature as House Bill 233. The path to justice for survivors of sexual assault is not an easy road. My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. There are thousands of accused sex offenders every year who are found not guilty living in our communities. Known For. I found hope and healing there and people that believed me. At age 11, Erin fell victim again. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? Learn More. Merryn travels the country advocating for children who are victims of sexual assault. This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. If you tell anybody, you will destroy our family, she said.. The reality is, 93 percent of the time it is not strangers that are hurting kids. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. Her dad had to sit down and have a tough conversation with his sister, and denial followed. Two of those children were my sister and I. I know that when theres one in four girls and one in six boys (being abused) Im not the only one standing in this room that this has happened to, Erin said of the statistics. I also give lots of insight and resources to parents in my third book An Unimaginable Act on warning sings to look for like bed wetting, wearing extra layers of clothes, avoiding a certain person, not wanting to be around them when they had no problem before, academic changes in school, depression, withdrawal, nightmares, aggression; acting out sexually, she said. Almost all states that have passed it are using the program, while some states are deciding how their schools will implement It into the curriculum.. The man, then in his late 20s, abused her several more times in the next year, including, she says, raping her during a daytime visit when she thought he wouldn't be home. The legislation, "Erin Merryn's Law," (S.6182 Klein/ A.8993 Dinowitz), would require schools to make a change to their . He cornered her in basements, bathrooms and bedrooms, always reminding her that she shouldn't bother telling anyone because no one would believe her. My goal in life is to give a voice to the voiceless and put these predators out of business, she said. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune) During her quest,. The more I shared the more I felt heard like I was lifting this burden off me and by the way the forensic interviewer was talking to me and encouraged me she gave me the message she believed me. Last week the law passed in two more states, Virginia and Wyoming, bringing the total to 34. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. Children must be taught to tell a trusted adult if anyone touches their private parts. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her terrible secret. Through her personal diary, written during the years of her abuse, Erin shares her journey through pain and confusion to inner strength and, ultimately, forgiveness. Merryn believes more can be done to ensure children also learn how learn how to protect themselves from sexual predators. She is at war against this silent evil that is lurking in the shadows and is devoted to opening the eyes of the public to the tens of thousands of children who are being abused right now silently in our own communities and backyards without our knowledge. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. Alaska Dispatch: Silence is a powerful way in which sexual abuse is kept secret and is perpetuated. This law requires personal body safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum. There was one good thing about my sister coming forward, she said. Winds NW at 5 to 10 mph. They dont warn us about our own family, they dont teach us that in school, her age 12 entry stated. The areas covered by your swimsuit are not for anyone to be touching, unless mommy and daddy are helping you with a bath. Merryn didn't tell anyone until she was 13 and she suspected her sister was also being abused. Through her speeches and books, Erin is an inspiration to professionals working daily to fight child abuse. It was just the beginning of a long journey. As the abuse continued, and as she was forced to see her abuser over and over again in social situations, she struggled with self-doubt, panic attacks, nightmares and the weight of whether or not to tell her . The shame is so overwhelming. InDecember 2015 President Obama signed thefederal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding for schools to use. It allowed me to let go of the bitterness, anger and rage I had toward him and find the freedom and peace I longed for and the ability to turn this painful event into something positive. Sexually abused as a. More than 90 percent of children who are sexually abused know their attacker, Bucco said with conviction. What are the most persistent knowledge gaps? I wanted to know why, and when I asked if he was abused, he denied it and said he abused me out of curiosity and an urge of sexuality. Get the best experience and stay connected to your community with our Spectrum News app. 2023, Charter Communications, all rights reserved. Merryn says her abuse ended when the family moved to a new neighborhood, Schaumburg, Illinois but she took her secret with her. She was abused. In the end, he was given seven years of probation, 1,000 hours of community service, he attended a two-year sex offender program, and couldnt come within 100 feet of Erin or her sister. Again, she was told to keep quiet, that no one would believe her if she said anything and that she had no proof. No one will believe you, Erin. Its somebody they know and trust.. I found (the) freedom and peace I had longed for. She told them that, growing up in Illinois, she had experienced tornado drills, fire drills and bus drills; was taught about stranger danger and eight ways to say no to drugs through D.A.R.E., but no one ever taught her how to protect herself from sexual abuse and what to do if a family member or friend molested or raped her. The only education I ever received about sexual abuse was when I became a victim, and the abusers threatened bad things would happen if I ever told. How do you identify? By speaking up even when family is against the idea, it is freedom for a survivor and allows them to reclaim a piece of their lives back. At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). [7] She published her diary detailing her cousin's abuse and her own recovery, relapse and reconciliation in book form as Stolen Innocence in 2005. I really open lawmakers' eyes when I share this with them. Our guest speaker for the Luncheon will now be Erin Merryn, childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist, and the force behind Erin . According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. Erin Merryn A Voice for the Voiceless Author, Activist, Speaker, wife, mother, and force behind Erin's Law Glamour Magazine 2012 Woman of the Year. But then, it started happening behind closed doors at crowded family functions. She wanted him to know how much his actions had affected her life. After years as a teen struggling with nightmares and flashbacks of my abuse, attempting suicide, self-injury, etc., I decided to use that voice to confront my abuser For seven months we corresponded in letters. No one would believe me, she recalls this man telling her. She started by pulling out that little pink diary. I left all the fragmented sentences, misspelled words, because I wanted readers to hear the voice of a young child.. I just figured I told my mom, and I never had to talk about this again. From the age of 11 to 13, I was repeatedly sexually abused at the hands of a family member, an older cousin, she said. We simply cannot stand by and allow these innocent kids to feel ashamed and live in fear at the hands of their abuser. All rights reserved. --TV host Katie Couric, 1992, 2002, and 2006 Woman of the Year.After suffering years of sexual abuse for six years of her childhood Erin broke her silence when she was 13 at a Children's Advocacy Center. Little did I realize, that by moving, I was getting that much closer to the next perpetrator in my life, she said. Erin said all she ever learnedin school was aboutstranger danger. But knowing it was not strangers who abused her,she has made it her mission as an adult to make sure kids in K-12 schoolsacross the countryonce a year learnfroma school psychologist or social workerabout personal body safety education. It is when they hear my story of how I was raped, and how my abusers controlled the situation by being the only ones talking to me about what was happening, that they "get it." Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Throughout her school years, Erin Merryn of Schaumburg, Ill., received plenty of lessons in the dangers her elders thought she could encounter during her childhood. It ended only after a chance conversation between Merryn and one of her sisters, who blurted out one day that their cousin Brian was "gross." The instruction will be provided by a school nurse who has completed professional development sexual abuse and assault awareness and prevention. Erin endured the abuse from age 6 to 8 and from 11 to 13 and felt the long-lasting effects of her guilt, shame and loss of innocence. Look out for motels that might house sex offenders. In December 2015, President Obama signed the federal version of Erin's Law providing federal funding toschools to provide this education. These can seem like powerful forces to go up against. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. These monsters are living in all of our backyards., (Tip: Offender Locator is a great app to have on your smart phone.). However, Merryn said this time the perpetrator was an older cousin, someone she had viewed as a brother figure. ", Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. Erin, a Chicago-area native, first introduced the legislation in Illinois, and the bill was given her namesake. "Alabama needs this law because just like everywhere else in America . The center provided me a safe place to connect with people who understood unlike my friends in school who did not understand what I had gone through. Putting the lives of children in danger and possibly taking their innocence is worth it? Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . That is what brought Erin to tell her story at Metamora Township High School last Monday afternoon, during an all-school assembly. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. Merryn: I reclaimed my voice in the Children's Advocacy Center. There is a misconception about this issue many people think sexual abuse only happens to the poor, to people who come from broken homes, etc. How did you find this voice? Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. But nobody asked those important questions. Alaska Dispatch: Thank you for reminding us that abuse happens across all socioeconomic conditions. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. Get hyperlocal forecasts, radar and weather alerts. Then, after seven months of back-and-forths, he wrote a heartfelt apology to Erin and asking for her forgiveness, but also understanding if she couldnt forgive him. I remember immediately after answering the interviewer I said "That's the reason I didn't tell before, I kept it to myself because I thought no one would believe me." He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. Erin Merryn is an author (Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act), activist, and founder of Erin's Law. Merryn said she testified four times for the task force. The man had threatened Merryn that hed hurt her more if she told anyone. Here's How We Amplify It | National Children's Alliance", "Erin Merryn Fights for Law to Help Child Sexual Assault Victims", "Erin's Law: When the Abuser Is No Stranger", "State Senate Passes Erin Merryn's Law Aimed at Child Sex Abuse Prevention", "Survivor Recalls Alleged Incest in Book", "Child Sexual Abuse Survivor Gets Law Passed", https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Erin_Merryn&oldid=1132623568, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 9 January 2023, at 19:15. Merryn's family, including her two sisters, moved to another neighborhood in the same town when Merryn was 8, and she stopped seeing Ashley. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. Sunshine and a few clouds. Erin Merryn, Stolen Innocence: Triumphing Over a Childhood Broken by Abuse: A Memoir 0 likes Like "Brian, this letter is probably coming as a complete surprise to you, but I didn't feel I should warn you since you never warned me when you were going to use my body for own damn pleasures. In 2013 Governor Quinn signed Erins Law mandating child sexual abuse education in all Illinois public schools. My mission, through this legislation, is to educate children on what I never learned. I will fight alongside Erin and the advocates right here in our community until the day that this lifesaving legislation finally becomes law.. The first episode began on a warm May night in 1991. Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor, applauds Stewart for making her story public. All rights reserved. The abuse went on for years. However, during the hearing Tuesday,Ohio State Sen. Sandra OBrien, R-Ashtabula, told Merryn that whileshe was sorry about what happened to her,there will always be evil in the world.. Do you still stay in contact with him? Behind those numbers are the faces of innocent children whose childhoods were shattered by actions of evil and sickness. MORE: Cancer-surviving mom stays strong for her son. Merryn (whose other books are Stolen Innocence and Living for Today), the mother of a toddler girl, says this is a conversation parents must have every year and often. Her courage breaking her silence allowed me to take a stand for both of us and be brave and tell her we can't keep this a secret, that we have to tell our parents. Innocence lost. Erin Merryn is among the many that came across the story. Merryn advocates for sexual abuse victims. One thing my abusers kept telling me was that I had no proof that they were hurting me, so why would anyone believe me? Named by PEOPLE Magazine a HEROES Among us and one of fifteen women changing the world. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. As I often tell people, our innocence was stolen, (our) trust taken, but the one thing we can reclaim as survivors is our voices. She kept quiet, but behavior problems soon followed. (2012) Fox News Self - Author of 'An Unimaginable Act'. Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. Every six minutes a child is sexually abused in the U.S. One in every 4 girls and 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the turn 18 over 90% by a family member or friend. Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. It can happen to anyone, which is why we need to empower our children with their voice to speak up and tell and to not keep it a secret if they are abused. Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. She is the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety on the prevention of child sexual abuse. Erin Merryn was an innocent child of six when her best friend asked her to sleepover. I got five sentences to my five pages, but he responded and it opened a door of communication, she said. 2022 Anchorage Daily News. Erin wrote that letter. But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. Illinois is the first state by law to mandate Erins Law. Around the time we were getting ready to move away, my friend had a birthday party. Merryn says a few months ago, a local . "He told me, just like in the past by this other perpetrator, 'Erin, this is our . Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. She is the author of Bailey, No Ordinary Cat, Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Here's how to protect your kids from online predators. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. Then something happened that no one saw coming: he confessed. Merryn is an author and activist against sexual abuse who founded "Erin's Law," which requires school to. Merryn is a national spokesperson for the National Children's Alliance, becoming the first survivor of child sexual abuse that went through a Children's Advocacy Center to speak on national television about her experience.[1]. Alaska Dispatch: Resiliency can be an important factor in how well survivors of abuse cope and in whether they go on to lead a healthy, happy life. Alaska Dispatch: So often we hear about "helpers" who encouraged a victim to come forward, or reported for him or her. Gov. This fundraiser is organized by Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (Caase). After describing the difference between the truth and a lie I was asked if I agreed to tell the truth that day. Immediately I thought I was being asked this question because she already did not believe me. Maryland is the latest state, joining the crusade last month. Those were just the number of children who broke their silence that year. After graduating with Bachelors and Masters Degrees in social work from Western Illinois and Aurora Universities in 2008 and 2009, Health Communications published her second book, Living for Today: From Incest and Molestation to Fearlessness and Forgiveness. The two families have ceased having contact. She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. The yearly videos had educated me, so I knew to tell the stranger to keep his change. I wish I could say that Erins story is uncommon, but that is far from the truth its happening right here in our own backyard, Bucco said. Meanwhile, the survivor who came up with the idea aftersufferingher own personal horrors shared her story with senators Tuesday. The words of my cousin began haunting me. However, she said theabuseand rape continueduntil she was almost nine. You seem incredibly resilient. (2013) It was so brutal I thought I was dying, Merryn, Glamour magazines 2012 Woman of the Year, recalled in an interview with the Asbury Park Press. Alaska Dispatch: What can someone reading about this do in their own life, or change about their own perspective, to make coming forward easier for victims? Erin Merryn born February 2 1985 is the author of Stolen Innocence Living for Today An Unimaginable Act Bailey No Ordinary Cat and The Diary of a Cat. So many children will be protected because of her." I am so confident I will get this law passed in all 50 states, because God has already told me it will happen. Visit sheriffalerts.com to find out if there are sex offenders in your area. Erins Law has now going international with judge in Kerala India requiring Erins Law in the 2023-2024 school year. Eventually though the conversation has to shift and that question that I will never forget. Erin said they just wanted to make sure their nephew got help. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she has found hers through the events that have occurred in her life. From the time my son Jack was around 3, I began having the private parts talk with him. tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. Merryn said the abuse only stopped because her family moved away. Check out Erins third book, An Unimagiable Act. This book describes Erins journey across America to get Erins Law passed and resources for survivors, parents, and educators. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. He got us quiet and continued to get away with it. Nightmares and flashbacks continued, and she started harming herself. The abuse continued until she was almost 9. Merryn now had a duty as a big sister to protect her younger sibling. In 2009 Texas passed a similar law but it was only a task force which did not mandate students be taught personal body safety, making Illinois the first state to require personal body safety education by law. 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